This morning I woke up to read the papers and saw this article headline ‘Forget romance, there’s only one relationship in life that counts’, the one with yourself. It is an opinion piece written by Wendy Squires. It begs the question, is love worth it?
When you love, you can get hurt, really hurt. The romantic imagining of love can disappear. You know the one, love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud…and instead of enduring romanticism, you are in unrivalled turmoil. Something like this…
The break up and the days after…
It was insanely painful in the beginning, and you are in agony, you want the torment to stop. So, you give in to it, you make it part of you. You calm yourself down, settle your heart rate and then this gut wrenching anguish; it begins to subside. Instead of your heart feeling impenetrably tight and like it could explode because you are suffering so much; it settles into feeling heavy, each breath giving rise to a more sustainable squeeze and release. You can still feel the pain, a little less so with each day and then it becomes manageable. Everything is precarious. You don’t want to go numb. You want to feel. But the pain is wearing you down. You are tired, so tired. You need to let go.
It’s awful. We don’t want to go through that many times in our life. Yet most of us will go through it at least once. Is love worth it? Squires article discusses a ‘golden couple’ and states it was ‘glorious to be in their orbit’. She seems genuinely happy for them. At some point in time, the ‘golden couple’ whom she states were a ‘romantic illusion’ fall back to earth, and it is brutal, one of the ugliest break-ups she has seen. And that is life. Life is unpredictable and scary. There is no certainty about romance and relationships and love. There are no rules. Love means something different to each of us. We do not know what will happen tomorrow. There are infinite possibilities for passion and pain.
Squires states, “I saw that no honest couple had what I’d assumed they had: the perfect relationship, the easy love, the lucky life.”
But at some point, they all had something, and many of them would have had everything. And an even smaller number yet; get to have everything forever. Their love continues into eternity, for death cannot sever their bond.
Is love worth it? I say yes. Of course, our relationship with ourselves is extremely important. We need to be kind and nurturing towards ourselves. And sometimes, we need to push ourselves beyond fear and into a reality that may be wonderful.
For relationship guidance http://www.relationships.org.au
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